lifted from my blog!

you know the lame civics lessons we have about mars and venus? well, here's mars and venus REVISITED! with heartbreaking stories and moral/philosophical dilemmas to harden the heart and dampen the spirit, all in the name of healthy cynicism! answered by yours truly, doctor angst!

story 1

x and i were best friends every since primary school, and we still are. we've always been in the same class too, so we're damn close. there's this girl in our class called y, and recently i found out that i like her! but the problem is i always see x staring at her all the time. also, whenever i try to get close to her or talk to her alone he always pops up out of nowhere like he's purposely trying to pull us apart... i know x is my best friend... but i really like y too... and i don't want to lose his friendship... what should i do?

doctor angst: screw the friendship and go for it, because if he were truly your best friend he would understand wouldn't he? but then again he might be expecting you to do the same so basically you're stuck at the same problem as before. i would then suggest you slay him in hand to hand combat or assassinate him. when everyone including y is grieving, step in and play the part of the supportive friend. when everything is over, confess your love to her and live happily ever after! pure genius!

story 2

x and i were best friends since we were young, and we've always been in the same class. however, recently, i've realised my feelings for her were more than platonic, but she's taken a liking to this jerk/poser. everyone knows he's an ass but everyone's too nice to tell her... i always told her how big a jerk this guy really is but she keeps brushing me off by telling me he has an inferiority complex and stuff. i want to tell her i like her but i don't want her to hate me! help~

doctor angst: the way i see it, you're a loser. i suggest what i suggested to loser number one in story 1.

story 3

eh doctor, i have this really big problem. i like this girl ALOT but there's this damn nice guy who's chasing after her too! he's like damn handsome and cool and nice and everything, and everybody likes him! and i'm a nobody... i look like a mud fence and have damn alot of bad habits! how can i win her heart...?

doctor angst: you're hopeless, and let's face it: you can't win. unless you resort to absolutely underhanded methods. i won't give you any concrete ideas, but i would suggest a simple knight in shining armour routine that (many) girls fall for. example, pay someone to try snatch her handbag/purse/wallet and waltz in just in the nick of time to save her! she'll probably so impressed and won't even realise how cool the other guy is! if all else fails, i suggest what i suggested to the other two losers earlier. it never fails. (unless you get caught, which i'm totally not responsible for.)

story 4

doctor angst, there's this girl i used to like a damn long time ago... and then i did something stupid like telling her... and i'm still waiting for her reply lah. everytime we run into each other we act like nothing happened but deep down i feel damn stupid! then recently i realised that i started liking another girl... but i really like the other girl... and i don't know what i should do! should i wait for an answer or just move on...?

doctor angst: the solution is simple: hit on both of them, and then don't let either of them find out. if the other girl says yes, dump the new girl and tell her to blame it on fate. if she doesn't, then just stick with the new girl. either way, you win!

story 5

i liked this girl since awhile back le, but at that time she had a boyfriend... so i just kept my feelings hidden, but then recently she broke up with her bf and i was wondering if it would be a good time for me to make my move... or should i give her some space...

doctor angst: hmm let me think about it- ARE YOU CRAZY? GET IN THERE AND HAVE YOUR ASS HANDED TO YOU NOW! (silver platter optional)

disclaimer: doctor angst does not accept responsibilities for any problems the actions proposed may result in or create. it would also be advisable that you have good, no, excellent medical AND health benefits. also, it would be preferable for you to have excellent legal counsel and a personal attorney.

this is a satirical piece. my ass.

if you haven't realised, i give horrible advice.

chris.
willy.
kenny.
lock.
matt.
wenhao.
law.
miki.
nan.
sabby.
angie.
yiwen.
woohan.
grace.
renuka.
resh.
ruth.
pj.
sunlu.
eugene.
pris.
zhenzhen.
vaish.
wei.
cherie
shijun.
richard.








* more class outings!
* to hold on together
* to all get promoted xD